Thursday, 22 June 2017

How I stopped smoking AGAIN

So I finally managed to quit smoking AGAIN! I’ve been battling with the dreaded drug for a long time. I have stopped many times and for years, but something happens and I stupidly start again.  It's normally from bumming one off someone at first after having a drink.  But it soon creeps back into my daily life.

This time I used the NHS quit help scheme.  I did use them before and with nicotine replacement, starting on patches, getting less and less strength ones and then using the nicorette minis for when urges arise.  However the last time I never managed to stop using the nicorette minis, I just loved the cherry flavour ones.  But they stopped making them.  The mint ones were not the same for me. This was about 5 years ago when my father died of lung cancer.  It was at his actual funeral that I kept nicking them off my son. How crazy is that!  At my father’s funeral and I start smoking.  By the time the funeral was over I was in the shop buying them. There was more to the funeral than just the fact I had lost my dad.  It was a stressful time as my step brothers and family were complete twats to me at the funeral. Everyone saw it.   Usual stuff, over money, not my fault, but they were angry so they took it out on me and my boys.  But that’s another story. Since then I have been smoking pretty much ever since. Not blaming them, it was my reaction to how they were with me which made me smoke. I was weak.

Recently my asthma has been bad so have wanted to stop.  No, that’s not true.  I always want to stop, I never want to smoke, but the drug and the cravings are something else as any smoker will tell you.  Many people say they enjoy smoking which I think is a complete lie.  They are not being honest with themselves. To proud to admit the drug has a hold on them.  Who really likes wasting money on a drug that makes you age, smell, and puts your health at risk?

Anyway this time I went with Champix which is supposedly the super drug to stop the crave to smoke. I tried it last month without success, but I was almost smoking in defiance with my body.  My body wasn’t feeling like smoking but I kept having the odd one till I decided to stop the pills.  What it does is reduces the urge to smoke and relieves withdrawal symptoms, which it did.  The first week of pills don’t do much, but on week two the pills are stronger and you take one in the morning and one at night.  They do make you fill nauseous for a bit, but if you eat first or drink water, it’s bearable.  They say you stop somewhere in the second week.  

I decided to try again but with a plan in place.  I knew what to expect this time and I knew I wouldn’t want to smoke in week two as that what the drug does, but the habit of and action of smoking was too strong, so I decided to vape instead.  I have been vaping on and off for a while but only when I couldn’t smoke for whatever reason.

The plan seems to be working as I am on day 11, so the 4th day into the second week.  I stopped smoking cigarettes (well tobacco) on the 9th day.  I know its early days but I am feeling confident.  I have really got into vaping.  I actually love it. I know there is a lot of talk about how good or bad electronic cigarettes are, but I don’t care right now. As long as I don’t inhale nicotine I’d like to think I will stay off the fags. I am loving trying the different flavours and types of eliquid available. Currently I like Wick Liquor and Cream Puff Factory.  I am vaping with Aspire Zelos box mod. I have just ordered some Beard Vape from my favourite online store Electronic Cigarettes Co.  It’s the cheapest store I have found and they offer free delivery which is a bonus. I tend to go for the sweet flavours so it’s as far away as tasting like tobacco.  Let’s face it tobacco tastes rank!

So that’s it I am a happy bunny right now.  I know its early days and I have yet to have a so called stressful moment. But this time I really want to crack this and am more determined than ever.  I have already noticed a difference in the taste of food and drink and I just feel better generally.  But like I said it is early days.  I will do another post in a months time if I get the chance, and it WILL be about how I still haven’t smoked.  Some positive affirmations now...  I WILL NEVER SMOKE TOBACCO AGAIN.

Friday, 5 May 2017

How did JK Rowling create such an empire?


Many people believe that imagination is everything. Imagination is what creates reality.  Western thinkers tend think that reality is just that and imagination is a dreamlike dimension and not connected.  However for hundreds, even thousands of years, for spiritual people, it is just common knowledge, not just a belief.  Now with recent advances in neuroscience, particularly in the field of brain scanning, there seems to be weight added to this belief. It seems imagination and sense of reality is closely intertwined.

It was thought that two processes of remembering and imagining were the same cognitive task, so carried out by the same areas of the brain. However, neuroscientist experiments have proven this is not the case.  The result from the experiments showed that imagination and memory are using different parts of the brain. Closely located, however, but distinct areas of the brain are responsible for each activity.  

Then there is the law of attraction which again stems back from hundreds of years ago.   Basically, the Law of Attraction is the belief that there is power in what you say and think.  If you think positively and imagine a great outcome this is what the outcome will be, it’s all it can ever be.  Again with recent advance in science, they have kind of proven this in Quantum physics. There is something spooky going on when you look closer at subatomic particles.  Einstein actually called it ‘spooky action at a distance’. Quantum entanglement has shown that by simply observing something (thinking about it) you affect the outcome. Everything in the universe life, matter, energy seems to be all connected, entangled, on single interconnecting source.

Well JK Rowling certainly knew what to do with her imagination. I wonder if when she at that low point in her life, living as a single parent on benefits, writing in cafes, that she stared out of the window imagining a better life for herself.   I wonder if when she got turned down time and time again she used her own imagination to envisage getting a book deal and selling millions worldwide. She certainly had self belief and didn’t let the loads publishing house rejects stop her. And look what she has created. Nobody else created that reality, she did.  If imagination and self belief are what creates reality, then we can all be what want imagine.

I suspect the actors Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint had a lot of imagination and self-belief growing up. I assume most actors need to have a lot of imagination to act.  All now successful in their own right but it was JK Rowling and Harry Potter which made them household names. It was JKs imagination and the energy that this created that got the ball rolling.  I am sure she didn’t in her wildest dreams believe that Harry Potter would be such as juggernaut and billion dollar business.  Or maybe she did. Maybe as her books began to sell and she was writing sequels she imaged selling millions of copies.

She has never spoken about if she believes in the law of attraction or if imagination creates reality.  She has admitted that Christianity was one of her major inspirations. When asked if she believed in God she said: “I do struggle with it; I couldn’t pretend that I’m not doubt-ridden about a lot of things and that would be one of them but I would say yes”.  Also saying, “I feel very drawn to religion, but at the same time, I feel a lot of uncertainty. I live in a state of spiritual flux. I believe in the permanence of the soul. On any given moment if you asked me if I believe in life after death, I think if you polled me regularly through the week, I think I would come down on the side of yes - that I do believe in life after death”.

Today she is a real force to be reckoned with. She has been in many influential people poles, she is not afraid to support and share her political views. She is a social media sensation with her honest tweets.  

I don’t believe it was just luck and a good story that has created her vast wealth.  Harry Potter was her baby and she must have had nothing but pure faith and belief that her stories were worth being read.  Yes, she worked hard and continues to do so but she attracted it all.  She didn’t crawl under her rug and give up when she got rejected. She didn’t let people stand in her way; she must have just brushed off negative criticism, kept focusing and believing. She kept going until the universe gave her what she wanted and I assume what she imagined, and then some.  

My favourite quote is ‘To accomplish great things we must not only act but also dream, plan but also believe’. I full heartedly believe this and believe this is how JK Rowling created such an empire.

Fans of Harry Potter can go on a tour run by my friends over at Brt Movie Tour.  Click here to see all their Harry Potter tours.



Monday, 6 March 2017

Traditional Tours UK

Traditional Tours UK is a new venture for Lewis Swan,Val Blackburn and Chris Jeffery. Following on from the success of Brit Movie Tours, which was started by Lewis Swan in 2009, Traditional Tours is his new sister venture. Traditional Tours offers traditional sightseeing tours, some walking, some bus and small vehicle tours in various locations across the UK including London, Cardiff, Leeds, Edinburgh and Belfast.

It seemed like a natural progression for Lewis. More and more people were asking for general sightseeing tours, tours that you couldn't really class as 'Movie Tours'. This is why Traditional Tours UK was born. It made perfect sense setting up Traditional Tours so they can now offer more general  UK Tours for the public to enjoy and keep them all under one roof as it were.

Brit Movie ToursBrit Movie Tours quickly become one of the leading specialist tour operators in the UK and it's down to the founder Lewis. I started working for Lewis back in 2011 and over the years have helped him with his website and ranking tours in google. He has a good team who all work hard at providing quality tours. I like to think I have a good instinct about people and I was right with Lewis. As soon as I spoke to him and met him I could tell I could help him and his business. I got the impressions he was an ethical type man and business person. He was prepared to work hard and understood it takes a number of factors for a website to rank high in google.  He understood the importance of social media and reviews and had a grasp on internet marketing himself. Online reviews are a necessary part of any tour company's marketing strategy and the only way to get good reviews is to provide a great service. You only have to look at the percentage of good reviews to know how well a tour company is run.

It's a new site in progress so only a few tours are listed at the moment. It has the same clean user friendly look and feel to the site as Brit Movie Tours:


Currently London tours available to book include a London Walking Tour, Dickens Walking Tour, a Quirky London Tour, Shakespeare Walking Tour and a London Underground Tour. You can also go on a number of Beatles Tours in London and one in Liverpool.

As long as the team use the same ethical working practices I am sure Traditional Tours will be as popular and successful at Brit Movie Tours. I for one will be right behind them, helping people find the tours they provide, happy in the knowledge I have been a small cog in the system helping people find, experience, enjoy days out, and making memories to treasure. That's what life is all about!




 

Thursday, 24 November 2016

Life is easy when you realise your creating every moment of it

Life is easy when you realise your creating every moment of it. I find when I practice the law of attraction, which there is now scientific evidence of, life is easier. I just wish it was mainstream knowledge and taught in homes or schools.

I don't need scientific proof, if something works for me, then I believe. Plus I believe that when you believe something, then it is. End of.  But I am a scientist (ok computer) so I have a need to understand how things work and am always searching for answers. I'm like a sponge for knowledge. 

For the last couple of years I have been studying all aspects of physics, the universe and consciousness. It all fits in with my spiritual beliefs which led me back to the law of attraction. I've never been religious but always believed we and everything in the universe is energy. That is fact anyway. So in my mind no higher power or god. Us, the energy is all there is, and we create our reality.

I've always managed to attract exactly what I've wanted into my life, some not so good, but all by practicing this law.  Quantum physics fascinates me and it kind of makes sense to me, even though I have trouble articulating it and all aspects of my beliefs. There are many more scientific studies which prove we use our consciousness to create everything. Everything is just vibrating energy. 

Many people think they need to see something to believe it, i.e. the saying, "seeing is believing". But I have always been open to believing things even if we can't physically see it, or science hasn't proved it yet.  When you walk into a room where two people have had an argument, you feel the energy or atmosphere, you can't see it. They can be the best actors in the world but if there's a bad vibe you will sense it. Your feeling the vibration.

Also I think there are a lot of things we aren't told about or are made public. Not necessarily aliens or ufos, but just in general. I am amazed as to why there hasn't been much fuss made over some of the major scientific findings in the past hundred years.  It's quite laughable what news we are fed.  But understandable when you realise who is running the world and media.

I have been consciously practicing the law of attraction on and off for years. Sometimes unconsciously and not to my benefit, but other times when aware, it never fails.  I've always said. If you say you can, then you can, if you say you can't then you can't. Both of these statements are the truth. I really get annoyed when people say they can't do something because of this and that. They use excuses. Everyone uses excuses. I'm the same. But I do find when I want something bad enough, nothing will stop it from materialising. 

I see evidence of it everywhere. Rarely for the good I must say. I often listen to people who are full of the 'poor me' syndrome as I call it.  I've have many friends and family I know are struggling with life and have tried to help them. They moan about this and that and when I think I'm helping by suggesting a better choice, they say 'I can't because'. And the because is just an excuse. Everyone has excuses. This frustrates me and the trouble I have is that the older I have got the less patience I seem to have with people, family and friends.  So rather than offering my advice lately, I tend to just listen and be an ear.  

What I really want to say is... you are creating this drama, this illness, you can create a different reality if u choose it, you are attracting exactly what you are getting. 

I don't have all the answers, I can only go on my own experience. I have pretty much been through most things so when I hear a friend moan about being in debt or being overweight or suffering with mental illnesses or anything I have experience with, I feel I should try to offer advice. But it's hard to make people believe that they are creating their life circumstances by the law of attraction. But what other explanation is there? 




Friday, 11 November 2016

Cognitive SEO Free Trial Review Scam/Con

All I seem to write about lately is dodgy companies. Beware if you planning on signing up for the free trial at Cognitive SEO. Cognitive SEO Free Trial is a Scam or Con.
http://cognitiveseo.com

I thought I would see if their tools had improved so went for this. They claim you get a 14 day trial for free and then only $99/month. No Obligations. You can Cancel Anytime.

 So I went for it and put a reminder note on my calendar to cancel before the end of the 14 days.

 It stated I had till the 9th of November to cancel. But they took money on on the 24th October for 97.25.

I contacted them to complain and they then offered me a so called special deal and refund the difference.

Well on the same day they refunded me 75.53, but also took out another 133.83 which only today I have noticed.

Conning buggers! I have emailed them to ask what they are playing at. I will update when I know more.

They better refund me or I will shout louder.

Friday, 28 October 2016

My Son could be a Tommy Shelby Look Alike

Everybody says my son looks like Cillian Murphy who plays Tommy Shelby in the hit BBC series Peaky Blinders. He does have the same high cheekbones, similar eyes and mouth and when wearing a cap you can really see the likeness.  I think he could easily pass as a Tommy Shelby look alike if he was dressed in the full gear and clean shaven.

Below are some pictures of my son Shannon:





Shannon Clayton - Tommy Shelby Lookalike


Shannon Clayton - Tommy Shelby Lookalike

Tommy Shelby - Cillian Murphy - Peaky Blinders

Tommy Shelby - Cillian Murphy - Peaky Blinders

For those that haven't see the series you are missing a treat. It is crime drama based on the Peaky Blinders gang who operated in  Birmingham, England in the late 1800s. The TV series though is set in 1919 just after the First World War.  The drama is based around the gangs leader Tommy Shelby who is played by Irish actor Cillian Murphy.  He is a real lovable rogue and natural leader.  Ruthless and ambitious he is the most feared Peaky Blinder. He is very much a family man and determined to make their lives better.  The character was a former soldier who fought in the Battle of Verdun and the Battle of Somme and whom received a number of medals of honour after the war. The war left him with ongoing nightmares and the determination to make a better life for himself and his family.

The first series was shown on  BBC Two on 13 September 2013 and ran for six episodes. The second series started on 2 October 2014. We had to wait a little longer for the third series as it was premiered on 5 May this year.

It was written by Steven Knight who came up with the idea years ago.  It is based on stories told to him by his parent who grew up in Small Heath in Birmingham. Lots of people believe the name 'Peaky Blinders' derived from the gang sticking razor blades into their flat caps to use as weapons.  This can be seen in the TV series but in reality that probably wasn't the case.  In reality the real peaky blinders were causing mayhem around the 1890's when razor blades were a luxury and expensive item according to historians.

The filming of the drama was carried out in Manchester, Leeds, some at the Black Country Living Museum but mainly in Liverpool. The street where the Shelby family lived was actually the street where the Beatles Ringo Star grew up in.  You can see the street and other location on this Peaky Blinders Location tour here.

I wont go into the series details and give spoilers but the show was an overnight success so well worth a watch.  I normally hate anything gangster related, but I loved this show, not just because everyone kept saying my son looks like Tommy.  However that was the reason I got interested in it.  You can watch series 1-3 on NetFlix or you can buy the series on DVD or Blue-Ray from the BBC website here. Earlier in the year it was revealed that the BBC have commissioned two more seasons and Cillian Murphy told the Birmingham mail that he thinks they start shooting the next series in March 2017.  This means we should get to see series 4 around October of the same year.  Cant wait.

Any lookalike agents wanting to get in touch with my son Shannon, please get in touch with me.

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

"You don't need to lose weight" makes me want to scream

Whenever I mention to folk I want to loose a few pounds I always get the response "You don't need to loose weight".  If I was cheeky enough I would reply "You haven't seen me naked".  I get it though, I have always been tall so I can gain a stone and nobody but myself can see it.  But the trouble is that as I am 1/2 an inch off 6 foot, when I gain a stone or even just half a stone I can't fit into a size 12.  Size 14's just dont fit me.  They may fit around the waist, but they are ill fitting elsewhere. So for the past couple of years I have been living in leggings.

What annoys me is that many people over the years have called me skinny.  But I have not been skinny since I was a teenager when I was first living in a bedsit at 16 and partying too much and not eating enough.  Calling someone skinny is as much as an insult as calling someone fat.  I guess people make comes based on what is relative to them.  If they are quite a bit overweight, then even when I am overweight I would be thin or skinny to them.

Being tall isn't that great to be honest, clothes dont fit unless I am a size 12 and I get a lot of jealously from women. As a young woman I hated it and wished i could chop some of my legs off.  I hated being taller than boys and standing out like a sore thumb.  But over the years I have learnt to live with it.

The weight has crept on since I started working from home back in 2009.  Not having to walk anywhere and being able to get biscuits and the like from the kitchen next door hasn't helped.  Also from time to time I suffer with depression and anxiety which has stopped me keeping up my exercise.  I used to always be a member of a club or doing some form of exercise but resent years this seemed to had dwindled.  I have been pushing my artwork so spending most evenings creating my flower people. But I haven't been happy so I decided to so something about it.

I have since joined BodyFit in Wellington and have been going to regular classes.  I did join a year or so ago with a friend but when my friend stopped going so did I.  I decided this year that I missed her classes and saw on facebook the club had moved and they run a clubbercise class.   This sounded right up my street as I love to dance and looking at the videos it looked so much fun, plus they do it to all my favourite dance tunes.  So I took my daughter-in-law along and started the classes.  When my daughter-in-law stopped going, so did I for a bit until I thought why am I not going just because she isn't..  So I got brave and went on my own. Best thing I ever did.  The lady who runs the classes is Elisha and she is just a bundle of energy and a lovely girl.   She is young so with that as her job has an enviable figure.  I think just because we reach our 40's doesn't mean we have to put up with the middle age spread as my mum calls it. Recently Elisha has been selling the Forever Living products which I have come across before. She had a talk about the products and mentioned the C9 detox and thought this might be worth a try.

In the past I have lost weight using Slimming World which I do recommend, and to be fair I do follow the diet to this day but also forgetting it and pigging out at the weekends, hence not loosing.  Being a target member I could have gone back to Slimming World, but fancied the sound of this detox.  In fairness I only did it because I wanted to give back something to Elisha, she works so hard and I know that you really have to sell a lot of Forever Living products for her to make any real profit.  So it was part to kick start my weight loss but also part to support her.  I only have about half a stone to loose and after hearing that weightless is a added bonus to this detox I decided to give it a shot.

Now many people believe that you need to do exercise to loose weight.  I totally disagree with this.  A few years ago I gained a couple of stone and I lost it in a few months by going to Slimming World and not doing any exercise.  It was when I was in my lazy period.  So I know that you dont have to up the exercise to loose weight. When we are overweight it is simply because we are eating too much of the wrong foods.  On slimming world you end up eating more of the good stuff, fruit and vegatables and just a few snacks or syns. Also remember the more we put into our body, the more the body has to work.

Exercise for me has always been about boosting my serotonin levels.  If you dont know about serotonin levels, there are many researchers who believe that an imbalance in serotonin levels may influence mood in a way that leads to depression.  I whole heartily believe this because the only time I get down is when I am not getting regular exercise. Since joining body fit and going to classes each week I haven't felt down at all and in fact have felt better than I have in a long time.  It was just the fact that I was still eating crap at the weekends that stopped the weight coming off.  So here is my review of the C9 Detox which I completed this Saturday.

C9 Detox Review

You are supposed to drink 8 glasses of water a day and can have free feeds such as strawberries and other fruit and veg in moderation.  My bladder didn't know what had hit it!
Before you start C9 you measure your waist and stuff.  Here were my measurements:

Weight 11.4
Chest 93cm
Biceps 28ch
Waist 93cm
Hips 96cm
Thighs 56cm
Calves 34cm

Days 1 and 2

On days 1 & 2 you only have what comes with the programme but are allowed some free foods in moderation.  Also you are only supposed to so low impact exercise like walking.  I just walked the dog a couple of times a day.

Breakfast 
 2 x Forever Garcinia Plus Softgels
120ml Forever Aloe Vera Gel
1x Forever Therm Tablet


Snack
1x packet forever fiber

Lunch
2 x Forever Garcinia Plus Softgels
120ml Forever Aloe Vera Gel
1x Forever Therm Tablet

1x Scoop Forever Lite Ultra

Dinner
2 x Forever Garcinia Plus Softgels
120ml Forever Aloe Vera Gel

Evening    
120ml Forever Aloe Vera Gel
250ml of water

I stuck with this and just had an apple and some strawberries each day.  I found it quite easy but they do say the first two days are the hardest.

Days 3 - 9 

Your supposed to step up the exercise which i did a bit not most majorly.  I just walked the dog and went to lots of classes at BodyFit. Food wise you can now add a 600 calorie meal. The full plan you eat is below:  

Breakfast 
 2 x Forever Garcinia Plus Softgels
120ml Forever Aloe Vera Gel
1x Forever Therm Tablet

1x Scoop Forever Lite Ultra 

Snack
1x packet forever fiber

Lunch
2 x Forever Garcinia Plus Softgels
1x Forever Therm Tablet

1x Scoop Forever Lite Ultra

Dinner
2 x Forever Garcinia Plus Softgels
600- Calerie Meal

Evening    
250ml of water

Again I just snacked on apples and strawberries as they were the only things I really like out of the free food list.

On day four I had a tired spell but in general i felt great all the way through it.  My energy levels were rasied and by the end of it I could see and feel the results. I didnt loose as much weight as I'd have liked however they do say that the amount of weight loss depends on a number of things.  For me I wasn't that much over weight.

This is what I dropped to at the end of it:

Weight 11.0
Chest 93cm
Biceps 26cm
Waist 91cm
Hips 94.5cm
Thighs 52cm
Calves 33cm

However I'm not sure if these measurements are accurate as I only realised the tape measure doesn't start at the very end of tape. So they could be 2 cm out. Can't remember whether I realised this on first measurement or not.  I also used my scales to check fat, bmi etc:

Fat 23.5- 22.8
Body water 56.0-56.4
Bone mass 6.5-6.3
BMI 22.1-21.6

The only thing I missed on this detox was a cup of tea and salt.  I am a big salt fan I must say and do put it on everything.   Below are some before and after pictures:



Below is a side view but the ones with the same jeans didn't come out well so showing some other jeans which I can now fit into.  But you can see the difference.



Below is me trying on an old pair of size 12 jeans.  Yay they fit. Feeling fab!



So overall I am happy with the outcome.  Since it has ended I haven't wanted to revert back to my old ways of eating.  I am sticking to the slimming world healthy way of eating. With just a few treats, NOT the whole packet of biscuits like before. Also since it ended this Saturday I  have noticed that now I really can tell when I am under hydrated, so I am keeping up with the water drinking, plus it fills you up and stops you wanting to eat unnecessarily.  If I feel thirsty I force myself to drink a whole glass of water, then refill it and take it back to whatever I am doing.  I am having a cup of tea in the morning, but that's it, not more during the day, maybe one if I make one for a visitor.

Also I have noticed my fitness levels have increased.  Most Sundays I bike ride to my mums house which is only and 3 miles.  Its down hill on the way but on the back its mainly uphill.  Normally I have to stop about three times,  however this Sunday I didn't need to stop once and it took me 10 minutes less than normal. Plus i can now do two classes at BodyFit rather than just one.

If you have done the C9 detox or are thinking of doing it, comment below. I would recommend it, however at £108 it can be expensive for most.  If cost is an issue for you I recommend just doing your own form of detox by just eating fruit and vegetables for a week and drinking plenty of water.  It should give you the same results.

Monday, 24 October 2016

Free Giveaway - Win one of my miniatures from my flower people collection

I've teamed up with Mary from Over 40 and a Mum to One to offer one lucky person a chance to win this miniature Little Miss Rose.  The piece is made with parian clay and left white.  Parian clay is a self glazing clay and looks and feels like marble.  This one has been left white but it could be coloured if the winner wishes.  Colour can be be applied to just the head or the whole figure if they choose.




 For a chance to win this little flower sculpture of mine head over to the page below.. Good luck!

 http://over40andamumtoone.com/2016/10/23/flower-people-miniature-rose-worth-20-giveaway/

Head over to my website so see more of my flower people.  You can also follow me on social, I am pretty active on facebook use #cazamic to find me on all networks.

Saturday, 22 October 2016

Fame at last! Thanks Style at Home Magazine.

Earlier this year I had a call from a journalist looking for creative people who might have designed a kitchen or bathroom for a feature in Style at Home mag. As it happens I had designed my kitchen the year before so I happily agreed. I explained I would happily be interviewed as long as the company who installed it were not given a mention. They were cowboys that made me ill and didn't deserve the mention. However after perseverance I got the kitchen I'd designed.  A journalist and photographer came to my home and talked to me about my kitchen. The night before I had painted some flower people green and strategically placed them on display. The write up about me is in Novembers issue of Style at Home. I thought it was going to be a bit more about my creative side and my artwork mentioned more, but they listed my website and since the mag hits the shelves I have had loads of sales and commissions. So thanks Style at Home.












Wednesday, 19 October 2016

Who was the real Matt Kendall?


Matt Kendall was the owner and trainer at Telford Thai Boxing. Sadly on October 12th he was found shot dead in Church Stretton, so the club is no more. Basically Matthew Kendall was a very sick man, a narcissist.  I am not going into details, but I have very close connections to the family it has effected, (my extended family) so know the truth behind recent events and his suicide.  I have written this post to get it off my chest.  If the police wish to speak to me or remove the post I will.


'Grooming is a insidious predatory tactic, utilized by abusers. Grooming is practiced by Narcissists, Antisocial predators, con-artists and sexual aggressors, who target and manipulate vulnerable people for exploitation.'

I met Matt 4 years ago when myself and my two boys aged 13 and 21 started to train at his club. At first it was great and we enjoyed going each week, but a few weeks down the line I started to realise there was something not right about him, but I couldn't work out what it was. I was always a bit shocked by his huge ego and self importance. He thought he was the best at Thai Boxing and believed his club was the best.  Yet he was overweight and I never saw him fight once.  He didn't look very fit at all. He would slate all other clubs and always acted like he was above everyone, a right aragant twat..  There was always talk how he was always cheating on his partner whom he had a son with. And there was lots of talk of his unhealthy relationship with his vulnerable girl students. 

I remember when the club moved to the business park in Hadley. He got everyone in to help, fair enough, but the most important part of doing up the new venue to him was creating a bar area. I remember thinking this was odd. Why was the bar and seating area so important too him? I soon came to realise. I believe he was an alcoholic as he was always talking about getting drunk at the weekend and on any trips it was all about getting drunk. Many times I would turn up to class and I could tell quite clearly he was on something. His eyes said it it all. They were always glossy and he looked off his head. Also someone very close to me said he saw Matt and other members sniffing white powder in the bathroom.

One thing that stood out quite soon was his people skills. He didn't really have any.  He seemed to lack empathy and was very pushy and manipulative. He pressured club members all the time trying to get more money into the club and to come to every class. At first I fell for it and sponsored him, I gave him £100 for new punch bag. But he was always pushing for more. He knew I had money and played on that. He was very impressed by my car for some reason and the fact i have my own business. Those that went fighting would have to pay him up front on the mini bus or before hand we got to the club where fights were held. Also we all paid an extra £5 for the drive to the club, fair enough.. The last fight I went to i noticed that the cost at the door was a lot less than he charged us. I did the maths and was shocked at how much money he was making out of us. I spoke to other fighters from other clubs and they didn't pay half as much, this angered me as he had lied to me regarding costs. On one event I had to pay full cost for my youngest son even though on the event website the cost was half that amount. He was a compulsive liar. The club was just a way for him to make money, probably to feed his addictions.

Then there was his classes. He rarely ran them himself. He would get his favourite members or members that he'd grown close hwith to run some classes. He would just sit on his laptop looking away with the fairies.. I asked one of these members if they were paid to help or at least have their monthly membership paid, but no, they were given nothing. Matt was a very good manipulator. 

The final straw for me was at a Christmas do he put on for everyone at the club. Well I say he, but he did very little. He asked us club members to bring the food, bring raffle tickets, pay a fiver to get in, pay for all drinks. He didn't even offer one thing for the raffle such as some cream or his t shirts. All he gave us was a video showing how great he was. He spent time putting together a video going on about the amount of fights won, the amount of club members attended that year, and anything to really feed his huge ego. Then at the end of the night when I had left, those that were still there played a drinking game. My 14 year old son was given 4 shots of tequila and other drinks which made him violently sick. He never called me to ask if it was ok to give my son these drugs which incidentally I believe should be illegal. Alcohol is by far the worst drug out there which has been proven by experts in recent years. I only knew about it by the state of my son the morning after.  It was my sons first taste of the drug alcohol and it was given to him by this so called respected member of the Thai community. This utterly disgusted me. The next day I stopped my standing order to the club and told my boys if they wanted to keep going they would have to pay for themselves, but I would rather they never went back.  Thank goodness they decided they had had enough and stopped going. My youngest went a couple more times but had grown tired of Matt's attitude and the way he ran his club.

He wasn't happy when we left and said I'd put the club at jeopardy. Me! Yeah right. We had a few heated text messages. His responses were very strange to be honest, I wish I could remember them. I know he had seemed to respect me so I told him the truth about how I thought he was a poor business man and where I believed he was going wrong. I thought it might make him see how it was his behaviour that was hindering the club at that time, not us members.  He had a huge turn over of students, lots coming and going. Over the year that I was at his club, most of his top members would leave. He fell out with a lot of people and he would blame it on their lack of commitment to the club. A lot of people did not like him.

I remember thinking he must just be a sad addict but I knew there was more too it. I was trying to understand him so I put some of his personality traits into Google. This is when I learnt what a narcissist was. It was Matt all over. It was like a bingo moment, he had a personality disorder.


Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following  symptoms:
  • Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
    TICK
  • Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
    TICK
  • Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions) TICK
  • Requires excessive admiration
    TICK
  • Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
    TICK
  • Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
    DOUBLE TICK
  • Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
    TICK
  • Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
    TICK
  • Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
    DOUBLE TICK
Source: http://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder-symptoms/


This whole event has been shocking to everyone who knew him.  But for me it was like the final jigsaw piece slotting into place.  I am sorry for everyone involved including his family, but more so his victim/s family.  But he was not a nice man, he had a lot of problems.  Unless you fell out with him you wouldn't have come across his nasty side. It's just a shame he didn't face up to his problems and get help.  I guess he knew he had lost everything, and for a narcissistic man like that, it was just too much to handle.